I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
