Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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