when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
