Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
