im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
