We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
