As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
