There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
