Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
FUCK WHALES
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