its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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