never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
