Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
