i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
