i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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