They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
