he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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