I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
