is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
