accomplished twins. life is a go
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think i got beer on your cat.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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