we have pet lesbian snakes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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