So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
