imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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