Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
