and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
