He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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