Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
