I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
