their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
