Just fell off a train. Bad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
