That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
