Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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