You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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