No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
