He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
