He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
