haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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