Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
