ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
