this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
