just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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