I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
