My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
