I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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