he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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