Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize