Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
