Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
