You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
