Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
