Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
