just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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