i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
