belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
