I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
