Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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