If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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