You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
