were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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