cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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